Am I Mistaken?

Ok, so I have my appointment with my therapist this coming Thursday. I'm getting kind of nervous about it. And yesterday I wondered if I am making the right choice. I really need to talk with the greatest friend I've ever had, but she is really busy these days, and hasn't been emailing me back. And every time I send a message or email, and never get anything back, I always journey to worst place, "Do they still even want to talk to me?" I just feel like the biggest loser on the planet when I never get a response back. And this is a time I really need her help. 

Back to the point at hand, for those that haven't read the post below, I am deeply considering sexual reassignment. But I was talking with someone and they asked me who I was sexually attracted to. I couldn't say. I'm not really sexually attracted to men, and while I admire women, I can't say I'm completely sexually attracted to them either. Am I just meant to be alone? Or has my loneliness for the past 7 years, just pushed me too deep in a hole? 

The whole reason I want to do this reassignment is to be able to be me. I'm stuck mostly all day in my bedroom. I don't have a car, no job, no friends, no social life. I feel completely changing myself, is like hitting the restart button. And I'll be able to go out and have fun. But what if nothing changes? I can't even fathom that. It could just be the end of the line for me if that happens. Maybe my therapist will have answers, but I also can't afford to be going to her too many times. I have $83, and it costs $40 just to see her. I quite literally feel like my best days are long behind me. It's all just downhill from here. And I have nobody to talk to. 

So I'm going to ask, and seeing how my blog isn't anything great, I'm not gonna expect many, if any, responses. But if anyone knows of any sites where you can just talk to people and make friends, that would be greatly appreciated. Please no dating sites. I hate being on dating sites looking for women who want actual relationships. I don't want to make them believe I am there for a relationship, just friendship. But when you're on a dating site looking for 'friendship' women take that as thinking "He wants sex." Couldn't be further from the truth with me. But where do you go to meet new people, when you literally have nowhere to go? 

Anyway thanks for reading. Next update will be Friday after my therapy meeting.