Ok so this post is very intimate about me. And I'll start at the beginning. For years now, ever since high school, I have been pretty much a loner. A loser. Not many friends. Not much of a social life. Always feel like I'm a freak the way people look at me sometimes. But all of this I came to live with. I have been overweight for quite some years now, and easily learned how to deal with laughing at myself. So I never let those kind of comments get to me. Doesn't mean they don't still leave an impact.
Anyways, sometime around early January I came across these phenomenal stories about male to female transformation, and it really got me thinking. It really made me start to wonder if maybe I am not supposed to be this way. Maybe I'm not supposed to be male, but female instead. Since then, I have really come to believe this to be true. And I'm doing something about it.
The stories I read, not only made me think of being female, but made me want to completely change who I am. Since I read those stories, I have been actively exercising, cutting out all junk food. And cut down on how much I have been eating. I'm really wanting to turn my life around.
Should have mentioned before that the loneliness I often feel, has led to a depression. Most days I'm fine, but somedays I just have a complete meltdown. Watch out for those days, because I can either become complete out of it and just don't care, or I can become enraged and lash out at the simplest things. Hence, the whole reason why I created this blog.
But for a while, I have been talking with a great person. She has really helped me the past couple weeks, and made me realize what I really want. She's an amazing person, and should she ever read this, I just want to tell her Thank You So Much! She is probably the greatest friend I have ever had. And I am so honored to have met her.
Currently, I have been emailing a therapist, and just yesterday we made an appointment. I am really looking forward to seeing her and talking about everything. It's hard to express yourself when there's no one around. My hope is that after college I can begin the whole transformation process. But talking with the wonderful gal from above, I want it now. But I had a freakout the other day, and realized I'm probably moving too fast.
So my goal now is basically graduate college in spring of next year. Have a vacation in Miami by myself. And really think deeply about what I want to do. But I think I already know what I want to do. Just would love a solo vacation for once!
The last thing I want to say here is, the amazing person I met, turns out to be a fantastic photoshopper! Like I said, we have been emailing each other about this for a couple weeks now, and she offered to take a pic of me and make me into a woman. Any person might have difficulty trusting someone who says that. And maybe I was a little, but I knew deep down I could trust her. So I sent her some photos yesterday and she took one and made me beautiful. I absolutely love the result! And she did it all within only a couple hours. She made me look so great and now I can really see what I may look like if I go through with being a woman. So tell me, what do you all think?
Ok, so I'm a HUGE Walking Dead fan! After the 2nd season and the news that Dish Network was dropping AMC I got into the graphic novels. Up to Volume 10 right now, haven't been reading them for a while since I've hit the end of he prison in the novels. But was really glad Dish brought AMC back after Walking Dead poured in the ratings after the first episode of the 3rd season.
Anyways, I could talk about the Walking Dead for hours. So I'm going to jot down a few things I have found interesting since the beginning of the show and would possibly like to see occur in the future. At the end of this I'll put up my picture as a Walker! Ok so let's go!
- First thing, how many people realized that Daryl and Merle and not been in a scene together until just last week? Not including the hallucination Daryl suffered back in season 2.
- Has anyone noticed that when they kill off one black actor, there's another to take his place? When T-Dog was killed, Oscar showed up. When Oscar was killed, Tyreese showed up. Kind of a coincidence.
- Sorry to say, but if you haven't noticed by now, whenever a somewhat minor character gets an important and lengthy amount of screen time, that usually means their death is coming. Dale is a prime example. As is T-Dog. They were always kind of around, but when they actually got a good amount of screen time, they died. Same could almost be said for Axel.
- Anyone else have the sinking feeling that Rick's craziness, will lead to Glenn and Maggie adopting Judith as their own? In the novels, Glenn and Maggie get married in the prison, which could still happen sometime soon. But I think they'll take the baby in too.
- How big of a factor will Tyreese and Co. be? Assuming they come back, which they most likely will considering Tyreese is a HUGE character in the novels. Plus they need a black actor and Tyreese is a pretty awesome character.
- Who hear is waiting for Morgan and Dwayne to reappear? Rumors have it that towards the end of this season, or the beginning of the next, Rick will go out and search for them. I could almost seeing it being the destruction of the prison in the finale, or the destruction of Woodbury after the destruction of the prison, and then Rick remembering/seeing/or hearing Morgan.
- I'm also waiting to see if we get back to Miguel and his family from season 1. I thought the family on the bridge being attacked by walkers was Miguel, but nope.
Anyways, I'm so ecstatic about what the rest of the season has in store! It's pretty much the only thing I have to look forward to during the week.
One last thing, you may have heard of it, but there's a cool little, let's call it, game. Where you can take a photo of yourself and turn yourself into a Walker. I hadn't tried until today but it's actually pretty cool. I recommend trying it out and sharing with your friends. You can do it on the computer using this link:
http://www.deadyourself.com/walkers
Or you can download the app on your mobile phone. Here's what I look like as a Walker! Comment below your thoughts on the Walking Dead, and maybe share your own Walker faces!
So, I'm on a couple of dating sites and have been on plenty of them before. Currently I am registered with 3 dating sites. However, 2 of them you have to pay to if you want to be able to read and send messages. I don't understand that at all!
The two I'm on are Zoosk and Match.com. You can't read messages, can't send messages, can't even look to see who viewed your profile. Well on Zoosk you can, but you can't view there's back. The other dating site I'm on is plentyoffish.com. At least there you can look up people's profiles, see who viewed yours, and message each other.
However, me being who I am, I don't get very many looks. Or no messages. I am a person who has faced rejection so much in my life, that too be honest, I can't take it again. But that's all for another time.
I mean, I just can't message anyone because I just have a sinking feeling that they'll see my picture and think instantly I'm looking for sex. But at the same time all these women have on there profile "Don't message me hi, hello, or what's up" and "say something interesting." Now, I am probably the most least interesting person on the planet. So what am I supposed to say to these women?
By the way, I'm not on these dating sites to look for an intimate relationship. I am on there strictly to find friends and have conversations. I have never had sex before, so why I would be on a dating site for sex is completely ludacris.
There is actually a real reason I am looking to talk with women. And again, that's best saved for another time.
Back to the point at hand. Dating Sites are just a waste of money. I tried emailing the people at Match.com why I should pay them when I could just look up somebody who looked me up. And try and find them on Facebook or Twitter. I am willing to bet that most people will use the same Twitter handle as they do on dating sites. At least I do, so people can easily look me up elsewhere. (You may be thinking that's dangerous because they could hack me or whatnot, but I don't have a credit card or anything that could get me in serious trouble on my computer anways).
But the people over at Match.com just emailed me back saying there is no way to stop others from viewing my profile and looking me up on other sites. They then told me to make my profile more secure! I'm like NO! If they want to look me up on other sites let it be! That way I don't have to pay you! I just don't get why you wouldn't go to one dating site, possibly meet someone, and then look them up elsewhere on something like Facebook where chatting is free. Dating sites would be completely screwed if people all thought this way. Anyways I'm getting far too long on this entry, so I would like to ask now what everyone else's opinions are on this. Thanks everybody!
Hello everyone! I created this blog to share ideas and thoughts. All while hopefully making new friends in the process. I have had it rough the past couple years, and I'd like to share bits of my life while also hearing about yours.
A lot of times people will come to me and ask me a thousand questions about what they should do. So I'd like this to be sort of a help site as well. I never really have anyone to turn to and ask questions, but there always seems to be somebody that wants my advice. Well, I'm here to give it!
This blog will be a spot for people to just share what they are feeling. Especially me since I have about 100 different feelings a day. So simmer down and enjoy this blog! It's our life and we choose to rule it!
