Hii everybody! So I think I have finally settled on a name. My wonderful friend Claire mentioned to me once how she thought I looked like a Rachel. Well, the name stuck and I love it! I still love Kirstin though, and if I could, I'd probably change my name to Rachel Kirstin-Alexandria. But I'm sticking with Rachel Alexandria for the moment. Who knows, I don't plan on having the surgery for a couple years and by that time I may have a completely different name in mind. That's the perks of being transgender :)
Anyways! I have begun to embrace the name Rachel Alexandria, and in doing so, you can now find me on twitter @ConvertedGirl and on Facebook as Rachel Alexandria Posey. (Posey was just something I threw in to keep people I knew out from knowing about me. I don't plan on changing my last name, but I do like the name Posey :) )
So I'm just giving all my lovely readers a chance to follow me more closely and get to know me :) On my Facebook page I'll be dealing more with things in general, probably post pics when I start hormones and all that. I don't use twitter as often, so probably won't be posting too much there.
Also, unrelated to the above, yesterday was my sister's birthday and we went out to the mall and a couple places. I really just started to get this feeling of complete ugliness. Like maybe I just wasn't meant to be a boy or a girl. I keep looking at my body like "You're never going to pull off being a woman." So I'm really hoping that hormones completely alter my body. I have therapy on July 8th, and I'm gonna try and bring up my letter of recommendation so I can get started on hormones. I've been going for 4 months now, and typically you get your letter in 3-6. So if I were to ask now, I'd probably be able to get it in August. I think many therapists who see transgender people often believe that when they get their letter, they'll stop going. My friend Claire has kinda specified to me that when she gets hers on Wednesday, she's done seeing her therapist. But from what she's told me, he wasn't that great to begin with. But it won't be the case for me. I love my therapist and she is truly one of the best! I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for her. She's very kind and compassionate and understanding. So even though I'd have to spend money on hormones, I'd definitely still be going to see her, probably just not as much. Maybe like once every 2 months or something. Generally, once a transgender does start hormones therapy visits go from like 1-2 a month to once every 6 months. So yeah, that's all for today! Next post might be on the 8th, we'll see. I'm trying to meet with my cousin again, and that could be before or after the 8th. So we'll see! Love ya'll! Take care :)
Sunday, June 30, 2013
Saturday, June 22, 2013
Family Matters
It's a rare condition, this day in age. To read any good news, on the newspaper page. But I'm here to tell you some good news! :) I meant to write this sooner, but my stupid internet providers screwed up our internet for a couple days. So here I am now writing this :)
Lately, I've really been feeling like I've been carrying a huge weight on my shoulders with having nobody around me know that I want to be a female. So I gathered up some courage and messaged my eldest cousin if she would be willing to meet with me. She's 28 and very nice :) So anyway, we met up at a bar last Tuesday, should mention she's a bit of a drunk too lol but that's what happens when you're a bartender. Back to the story. I'm not much of a drinker, so we walk in and I tell her I don't like beer, so she gets me a rum and coke (not bad by the way) and we sit outside at a picnic table, nobody else really around us. It started off exactly as I had thought. She asks "so what did you want to talk about?" My hands nervously shaking my drink, I just told her that I wanted to be a female. She was taken aback a bit, but in the end very supportive. She was happy that I was coming out and telling her, and basically we just talked about our family and what they're reactions would be. I thought maybe I wouldn't mind her mom knowing about me, because she's a hairstylist and it would allow me to get my hair done how I would like. But she told me a few secrets about something that happened with her, and in the end, I'm not so sure her mom would be too comfortable with knowing her only nephew wants to be a girl. However, she is a hairstylist and I'm sure she's worked with all kinds. And it's not like I'm really her kid. Only problem is, her mom is not too good at keeping secrets. She wouldn't tell my mom flat out, but I am almost positive she'd be working on somebodies hair, and for some reason transgender would come up, and she'd say like "Oh my nephew is transgender" and somehow and someway that would get back to my mom. That's not how I want her to find out.
So anyway, we just kinda talked. She suggested a way for me to get my letter to my mom by giving it to her and then leaving for a couple days. She offered to let me stay with her if I wanted during that time. Also, she is in the process of moving and offered to put aside some make-up for me if I wanted. I didn't really say yes, but also didn't say no. She'll be moving out on the 28th of June, so we'll see :) She also offered to go shopping with me if I wanted, but since I don't have a job, I don't really have the money to go shopping for clothes. But someday I will take her up on that offer :)
Anyways, that's really about it. We sat at the bar for about an hour. Just talking about our family, past memories, and how I want to transition. She was incredibly supportive and I love her so much for wanting to help me! It's really great not carrying as much as a weight anymore and it's even better having someone close to me that I can rely on and seek advice and support from. My family is unbelievably amazing and supportive, but yet I am still worried about how most of the members in my family will take this news. Since I'm not really religious, I won't say I'll pray, but I will hope that everything works out for the best. And it's really cool that me and my cousin sort of have this shared secret within our family :)
She also told me some grizzly things about my father that made me angry and upset. Apparently one time, when her and her brother were at my apartment when I was probably less than a year old, they were making a lot of noise and my mom told them to be quiet. They were still loud, and my dad comes out, yells at my mom and hit her. My mom went to my grandparents and asked what to do. They told her just to ignore it and not get divorced. My grandparents are a tad bit religious. Religion kinda fades with each generation in my family. But my cousin's dad, and my mom's brother apparently went to my grandparents and told them that if they didn't do something about my dad, they were going to "beat his ass". This pretty much just made me lose all respect I had for him. Not that there was much to begin with.
Anyways, that's really about it. We sat at the bar for about an hour. Just talking about our family, past memories, and how I want to transition. She was incredibly supportive and I love her so much for wanting to help me! It's really great not carrying as much as a weight anymore and it's even better having someone close to me that I can rely on and seek advice and support from. My family is unbelievably amazing and supportive, but yet I am still worried about how most of the members in my family will take this news. Since I'm not really religious, I won't say I'll pray, but I will hope that everything works out for the best. And it's really cool that me and my cousin sort of have this shared secret within our family :) No, I'm not Steven Q. Urkel, but I did do that lol :)
Thanks for reading everybody! Love ya'll! Next post will probably be July 8th since that's my next therapy, but since that's a bit a ways off, I'm sure I'll be writing again before that :)
Lately, I've really been feeling like I've been carrying a huge weight on my shoulders with having nobody around me know that I want to be a female. So I gathered up some courage and messaged my eldest cousin if she would be willing to meet with me. She's 28 and very nice :) So anyway, we met up at a bar last Tuesday, should mention she's a bit of a drunk too lol but that's what happens when you're a bartender. Back to the story. I'm not much of a drinker, so we walk in and I tell her I don't like beer, so she gets me a rum and coke (not bad by the way) and we sit outside at a picnic table, nobody else really around us. It started off exactly as I had thought. She asks "so what did you want to talk about?" My hands nervously shaking my drink, I just told her that I wanted to be a female. She was taken aback a bit, but in the end very supportive. She was happy that I was coming out and telling her, and basically we just talked about our family and what they're reactions would be. I thought maybe I wouldn't mind her mom knowing about me, because she's a hairstylist and it would allow me to get my hair done how I would like. But she told me a few secrets about something that happened with her, and in the end, I'm not so sure her mom would be too comfortable with knowing her only nephew wants to be a girl. However, she is a hairstylist and I'm sure she's worked with all kinds. And it's not like I'm really her kid. Only problem is, her mom is not too good at keeping secrets. She wouldn't tell my mom flat out, but I am almost positive she'd be working on somebodies hair, and for some reason transgender would come up, and she'd say like "Oh my nephew is transgender" and somehow and someway that would get back to my mom. That's not how I want her to find out.
So anyway, we just kinda talked. She suggested a way for me to get my letter to my mom by giving it to her and then leaving for a couple days. She offered to let me stay with her if I wanted during that time. Also, she is in the process of moving and offered to put aside some make-up for me if I wanted. I didn't really say yes, but also didn't say no. She'll be moving out on the 28th of June, so we'll see :) She also offered to go shopping with me if I wanted, but since I don't have a job, I don't really have the money to go shopping for clothes. But someday I will take her up on that offer :)
Anyways, that's really about it. We sat at the bar for about an hour. Just talking about our family, past memories, and how I want to transition. She was incredibly supportive and I love her so much for wanting to help me! It's really great not carrying as much as a weight anymore and it's even better having someone close to me that I can rely on and seek advice and support from. My family is unbelievably amazing and supportive, but yet I am still worried about how most of the members in my family will take this news. Since I'm not really religious, I won't say I'll pray, but I will hope that everything works out for the best. And it's really cool that me and my cousin sort of have this shared secret within our family :)
She also told me some grizzly things about my father that made me angry and upset. Apparently one time, when her and her brother were at my apartment when I was probably less than a year old, they were making a lot of noise and my mom told them to be quiet. They were still loud, and my dad comes out, yells at my mom and hit her. My mom went to my grandparents and asked what to do. They told her just to ignore it and not get divorced. My grandparents are a tad bit religious. Religion kinda fades with each generation in my family. But my cousin's dad, and my mom's brother apparently went to my grandparents and told them that if they didn't do something about my dad, they were going to "beat his ass". This pretty much just made me lose all respect I had for him. Not that there was much to begin with.
Anyways, that's really about it. We sat at the bar for about an hour. Just talking about our family, past memories, and how I want to transition. She was incredibly supportive and I love her so much for wanting to help me! It's really great not carrying as much as a weight anymore and it's even better having someone close to me that I can rely on and seek advice and support from. My family is unbelievably amazing and supportive, but yet I am still worried about how most of the members in my family will take this news. Since I'm not really religious, I won't say I'll pray, but I will hope that everything works out for the best. And it's really cool that me and my cousin sort of have this shared secret within our family :) No, I'm not Steven Q. Urkel, but I did do that lol :)
Thanks for reading everybody! Love ya'll! Next post will probably be July 8th since that's my next therapy, but since that's a bit a ways off, I'm sure I'll be writing again before that :)
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Therapy 4
So I had therapy on Monday, my apologies to everyone who thought yesterday's post my have been what that was about. Basically we started talking about what I had done since last time. Okay, but first before I begin, my therapist moved buildings a month or so ago, and that's no problem, but I guess now there's another therapist there too. I didn't get a call from her this time to remind me about therapy, so I was a little concerned. I walked in and sat down, and then a couple minutes later a woman comes in and sits down too. So I'm thinking, uh-oh, did she make a mistake in scheduling or something? But then another therapist comes out and greets the woman. So now I'm thinking, "Ooook where's my therapist? Does she still work here? Did something happen?" Remember my therapist is about 5 months pregnant now. But a couple minutes later she came and got me. So okay, back to the session.
I told her, I had played around with makeup and was just talking with people. Throughout the session, basically it centered on telling my mom. I wrote my mom a letter to tell her, thinking she might want space when she finds out. But now I'm not so sure a letter is best. I think I just need to actually tell her. But I don't know how, and I don't know when. There are times my mind is swirling to just get it out. She what she says or thinks or does. All I know is, I need someone to support me with this. I'm not comfortable holding in this giant secret and not being able to be myself. My therapist told me to think of ways each day I could show my mom that I want to be female. I don't really know how to be any more female than what I've been doing. My mannerisms are mostly female, I get in more fem positions. So I don't really know what more to do. So it dawned on me, ya know what, just fucking do it. So I'm at a point now where my toes are painted, I'm wearing a woman's tee to bed, and I have one of my moms headbands that I use as a bracelet because it's just too cute and it encourages me to be more fem :) Now I'm going out and trying to be caught, but if I am, then so be it. Kinda like, if you are a bank robber and you rob a bank. You're not gonna go out and turn yourself in, but eventually you'll get caught and have to pay the price. So that's just how I'm going to go about it. If she catches me in all that, then I'm sure we'll have to talk about it. But once she knows, I know things will be better off.
Gosh, really that's all I have to talk about. Like I said, most of the session centered on telling my mom. So I don't really know what other ways I can go about doing that. I'll think of something eventually I'm sure. But for now, I'm just gonna stick with being myself, and should it ever come up, well then so be it. Actually I had a chance yesterday to say something to her, here's the story.
So I got bored on the treadmill and started biking. Last Friday while biking my bike broke and had to walk back about 2 miles to the house. Now on Monday, my friend that I bike with couldn't go, so we went on Tuesday. I used another bike and it worked fine, but the seat was terribly uncomfortable. My butt is still in pain from just sitting on that seat for so long. Never get a Schwinn bike, or if you do, buy a new seat. So we came back to my house and I grabbed my sister's bike. It's a light blue type color. Wheels were already pumped so I grabbed hers and we went back out. Now afterwards when I was home, I called my mom to tell her that the 1st bike I took had nothing wrong with it, except the seat. So I told her I took my sister's bike. She says "That's a girls bike" and I told her "Yeah, it's not really it's blue." Then it hit me last night I should've said "Yeah so, maybe I want to be a girl" or something like that. That definitely would've raised her eyebrows I'm sure.
Okay, now that's all I have to say lol. Til next time! Love ya'll :)
I told her, I had played around with makeup and was just talking with people. Throughout the session, basically it centered on telling my mom. I wrote my mom a letter to tell her, thinking she might want space when she finds out. But now I'm not so sure a letter is best. I think I just need to actually tell her. But I don't know how, and I don't know when. There are times my mind is swirling to just get it out. She what she says or thinks or does. All I know is, I need someone to support me with this. I'm not comfortable holding in this giant secret and not being able to be myself. My therapist told me to think of ways each day I could show my mom that I want to be female. I don't really know how to be any more female than what I've been doing. My mannerisms are mostly female, I get in more fem positions. So I don't really know what more to do. So it dawned on me, ya know what, just fucking do it. So I'm at a point now where my toes are painted, I'm wearing a woman's tee to bed, and I have one of my moms headbands that I use as a bracelet because it's just too cute and it encourages me to be more fem :) Now I'm going out and trying to be caught, but if I am, then so be it. Kinda like, if you are a bank robber and you rob a bank. You're not gonna go out and turn yourself in, but eventually you'll get caught and have to pay the price. So that's just how I'm going to go about it. If she catches me in all that, then I'm sure we'll have to talk about it. But once she knows, I know things will be better off.
Gosh, really that's all I have to talk about. Like I said, most of the session centered on telling my mom. So I don't really know what other ways I can go about doing that. I'll think of something eventually I'm sure. But for now, I'm just gonna stick with being myself, and should it ever come up, well then so be it. Actually I had a chance yesterday to say something to her, here's the story.
So I got bored on the treadmill and started biking. Last Friday while biking my bike broke and had to walk back about 2 miles to the house. Now on Monday, my friend that I bike with couldn't go, so we went on Tuesday. I used another bike and it worked fine, but the seat was terribly uncomfortable. My butt is still in pain from just sitting on that seat for so long. Never get a Schwinn bike, or if you do, buy a new seat. So we came back to my house and I grabbed my sister's bike. It's a light blue type color. Wheels were already pumped so I grabbed hers and we went back out. Now afterwards when I was home, I called my mom to tell her that the 1st bike I took had nothing wrong with it, except the seat. So I told her I took my sister's bike. She says "That's a girls bike" and I told her "Yeah, it's not really it's blue." Then it hit me last night I should've said "Yeah so, maybe I want to be a girl" or something like that. That definitely would've raised her eyebrows I'm sure.
Okay, now that's all I have to say lol. Til next time! Love ya'll :)
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
For My Gamer Friends :)
So this blog post is going to be really off topic here, for any big gamer, you might know that this week is the big E3 convention where all the big name gaming companies showcase there new upcoming games and consoles and features. Now today Nintendo had a showcase showing some amazing new games, it's really the only thing I was looking forward to this year.
The first game they showed was Pokemon X & Y. Now I grew up on Pokemon and I love this franchise very much and I'm glad I never grew out of it. Such a unique type of game that just keeps growing and just when you think "How could they possibly keep going with this?" They do. These versions are for the Nintendo 3DS. I totally advise getting one if you can afford one. The layout of the game is completely different from all the others. It's in 3D, you aren't playing with a tiny little avatar anymore, you get a full screen character! New pokemon, a new type called Fairy (could've been better lol), and a new world. Most of my readers are probably adults, so this is a game I highly advise for your kids :)
Next up was Super Mario 3D World. A title for the 3DS. Now, the last decent Mario game I enjoyed was Super Mario Sunshine. I've gotten a lot of other Mario games since the good ole Gamecube days, but never really liked them. I don't see me liking this game either. If you recall from some of the other Mario games, you could get a suit that turned you into a tanooki (Raccoon dog), well in this game you get a cat suit. That allows you to climb up walls and such. Like really? A catsuit? Ugh. I don't even think I'll be getting this game because of how cheesy it looked. However, it is multiplayer, and you get to play as Mario, Luigi, Toad, and Peach. So if you have a lot of friends that play, this could be a game worth buying.
The next game I was interested in was Mario Kart 8. Love these games and they get better and better. This time though, you can hover and actually cruise along walls and even drive underneath the tracks! It looks really amazing and more likely this game should be called Mario Kart Infinity. There are no bounds in this game! I just hope they came up with some pretty good characters to add in this time :)
Next Donkey Kong Country Tropical Breeze. The only DK game I've liked was Donkey Kong 64 for the Nintendo 64, but this game I might consider. Using the 3D element it really allows you to look all over and experience the vast world of Donkey Kong. Very well put together, if I say so myself :)
The last game, omg huge one! Super Smash Bros 4 (Don't know if that's the actual title), but I love these games even more! Brawl was amazing in that there was a great storyline, and I look forward to that with this new one. Great thing about this, and with a few of the other games above, they are coming out for the Wii U and 3DS. So I'm highly looking forward to kicking butt on my 3DS lol. Smash Bros is known for bringing in all the popular Nintendo characters and putting them into one big fight. Last time in Brawl, they brought in Snake from the Metal gear franchise, as well as everyone's favorite hedgehog, Sonic :) I don't care for Snake, but I'd love to see Sonic make a return! They also showed Villager as a fighter from the Animal Crossing franchise, as well as, OMG WAIT FOR IT! MEGAMAN!! That's right MegaMan will be appearing in this game! Totally can't wait for this game to come out next year :)
There are a couple other games I am very highly looking forward to coming out this year. South Park and The Stick of Truth looks really good. Sort of a Skyrim meets South Park type of game lol. Should be a lot of fun! As well as Lego Marvel Superheroes!
Okay, now for those of you thinking "What are you 10?" well let me tell you these Lego games are amazing! You have so much fun playing them, and the story and humor is fantastic! I played Lego DC Superheroes 2 a couple months ago and had a blast! Great thing is, you never die, you just get rebuilt right where you died lol. This is a great game for the family! And with the Marvel game, they've said more than 100 characters will be playable, but this includes costume changes for characters. Think they actually said there's 50 different characters and each one has a different costume. But this world has New York, Asgard, Xavier's Mansion, and a ton of excitement building around it. Totally can't wait for this to come out this fall! That's all I have to say here everybody, hope I did good in informing my gamer readers out there! :)
The first game they showed was Pokemon X & Y. Now I grew up on Pokemon and I love this franchise very much and I'm glad I never grew out of it. Such a unique type of game that just keeps growing and just when you think "How could they possibly keep going with this?" They do. These versions are for the Nintendo 3DS. I totally advise getting one if you can afford one. The layout of the game is completely different from all the others. It's in 3D, you aren't playing with a tiny little avatar anymore, you get a full screen character! New pokemon, a new type called Fairy (could've been better lol), and a new world. Most of my readers are probably adults, so this is a game I highly advise for your kids :)
Next up was Super Mario 3D World. A title for the 3DS. Now, the last decent Mario game I enjoyed was Super Mario Sunshine. I've gotten a lot of other Mario games since the good ole Gamecube days, but never really liked them. I don't see me liking this game either. If you recall from some of the other Mario games, you could get a suit that turned you into a tanooki (Raccoon dog), well in this game you get a cat suit. That allows you to climb up walls and such. Like really? A catsuit? Ugh. I don't even think I'll be getting this game because of how cheesy it looked. However, it is multiplayer, and you get to play as Mario, Luigi, Toad, and Peach. So if you have a lot of friends that play, this could be a game worth buying.
The next game I was interested in was Mario Kart 8. Love these games and they get better and better. This time though, you can hover and actually cruise along walls and even drive underneath the tracks! It looks really amazing and more likely this game should be called Mario Kart Infinity. There are no bounds in this game! I just hope they came up with some pretty good characters to add in this time :)
Next Donkey Kong Country Tropical Breeze. The only DK game I've liked was Donkey Kong 64 for the Nintendo 64, but this game I might consider. Using the 3D element it really allows you to look all over and experience the vast world of Donkey Kong. Very well put together, if I say so myself :)
The last game, omg huge one! Super Smash Bros 4 (Don't know if that's the actual title), but I love these games even more! Brawl was amazing in that there was a great storyline, and I look forward to that with this new one. Great thing about this, and with a few of the other games above, they are coming out for the Wii U and 3DS. So I'm highly looking forward to kicking butt on my 3DS lol. Smash Bros is known for bringing in all the popular Nintendo characters and putting them into one big fight. Last time in Brawl, they brought in Snake from the Metal gear franchise, as well as everyone's favorite hedgehog, Sonic :) I don't care for Snake, but I'd love to see Sonic make a return! They also showed Villager as a fighter from the Animal Crossing franchise, as well as, OMG WAIT FOR IT! MEGAMAN!! That's right MegaMan will be appearing in this game! Totally can't wait for this game to come out next year :)
There are a couple other games I am very highly looking forward to coming out this year. South Park and The Stick of Truth looks really good. Sort of a Skyrim meets South Park type of game lol. Should be a lot of fun! As well as Lego Marvel Superheroes!
Okay, now for those of you thinking "What are you 10?" well let me tell you these Lego games are amazing! You have so much fun playing them, and the story and humor is fantastic! I played Lego DC Superheroes 2 a couple months ago and had a blast! Great thing is, you never die, you just get rebuilt right where you died lol. This is a great game for the family! And with the Marvel game, they've said more than 100 characters will be playable, but this includes costume changes for characters. Think they actually said there's 50 different characters and each one has a different costume. But this world has New York, Asgard, Xavier's Mansion, and a ton of excitement building around it. Totally can't wait for this to come out this fall! That's all I have to say here everybody, hope I did good in informing my gamer readers out there! :)
Saturday, June 1, 2013
And No Religion Too
The immortal words of John Lennon. One of my favorite musicians :) What brings this up, and yes I'm hoping I receive backlash on this because at least then I'll be getting some sort of comments, is somebody posted last night on a forum if transgender people feel condemned by the Bible. Well, do I? No, the Bible is just a book of feel good lessons and morals. It could easily be replaced by Chicken Soup for the Soul. I've never read the Bible, but come on! There are some stories in there that are just too crazy. This is my blog, so I can say what I want, but I know this may anger some people. I'm going to respect people though and not use curses, just simple language.
God, if he does exist, I don't think he cares too much for us. Does he answer prayers? Does he work miracles? Who's to know. But to my extent, I think the Devil cares much more for us than God does. I'm not satanic, but think about it. The Devil wants us to be his play things, so he is constantly keeping a closer eye on us then God. God, should he exist, wants us to find our own way into Heaven. He isn't going to hold our hand and walk us through the gate. The Devil however, is always looming over us. Throwing greed and hunger and poverty in our faces. We become desperate and do things we would never think to do. The Devil wants us to join him and it is easy to do so, God wants us to make our own decisions. And lastly, people say God created us in his image. Well, what about the transgender people? Did God create boys who really should have been girls and vice versa and just go whoops? I don't think so. But I don't really believe in either of them, so for me this is rather moot.
There are a few stories in the Bible that come to mind that I find are just completely ludicrous. First of all, the "virgin mary". That Jesus is the son of God. Well, I'm here to tell you I don't believe that's not true at all. Mary gave birth in Bethlehem. If I recall correct that's where she gave birth, but that's not where the child was conceived. But this was over 2000 years ago. Rape was not uncommon. And it was even more uncommon not to tell you were raped because of being ridiculed. So my firm belief is Mary was raped, and covered it up. Maybe Joseph actually was the father. Now there are images of Jesus, but has anyone ever seen God? Maybe Jesus is God. Going back to my last paragraph, this could be why Jesus won't ever be making a 2nd coming. He does not care for us because ultimately we have screwed ourselves as a planet. But the next story is of Adam and Eve. This cannot possibly be believed can it? Here's where I get lost. Adam and Eve are supposedly the 1st two people on the planet. That's why people will tell you sometimes that we are all related. They have 2 children, Cain and Abel. Cain kills Abel and is banished. That's a total of 3 people that should be on this planet. But somehow Cain finds a village of people who just came out of nowhere? Nuh-uh. Plus evolution has proven this is nothing but a story.
Religion should be nothing to us. There was another story about a lesbian girl where a pastor and camp counselors put fear into her for being a lesbian and were forcing her to be straight. Ultimately, she says her life is worse now because of that. Religion wasn't meant to put fear into us. It was meant to give us a set of guidelines to follow so we can reach our own peace and be better off in life. Religion should not a governing factor in our lives, it should only be a way of setting our morals and values. Do not force your religion upon anyone. Do you know it states in the Constitution that religion shall not have any say in our laws? We are not a country built on religion, we are a country built on independence. So if you're against Gay marriage (I'm assuming most of my readers aren't) that's fine, but if you are against it because it goes against the Bible. Well guess what, the Bible has no jurisdiction in this country.
So now here's what I believe. I say I'm agnostic, but really I just have my own personal religion. Atheism, by the way, means not believing in anything. It's really an ignorant 'religion'. So I believe in Destiny. We are all on a path to reach our end goal. What happens happens for a reason. Yes this includes tragedies and murders and all that. They happen for a reason. Don't question the reason, just know it has one. We cannot stray from our paths, because they are right there in front of us. The path is a straight line. Everything has already been pre-planned. There's no changing our fates. If I die tomorrow, I'll know it was because it was meant to be. Sure, sometimes I like to believe there is a God, but ultimately he never listens. And whatever happened to the ancient Greek Gods like Zeus? Let's go back to them! lol. That's what I believe. Religion is just something for people to grab onto. It should NOT define you!
So lastly, I apologize if I offended anyone, but this is something I've wanted to get off my chest for a long time. I don't mean to step on anyone's beliefs, but that's really what religion does. It steps on you. Holds you down and puts fear into you. Remember all this, and do not judge others. I don't judge people who believe in the Christian faith, but I will fight you if you try and force it down my throat. Religion is a fine thing to value, but don't let it control you. I really don't want to rant anymore, so I'm done lol. Thanks everyone for reading this!
God, if he does exist, I don't think he cares too much for us. Does he answer prayers? Does he work miracles? Who's to know. But to my extent, I think the Devil cares much more for us than God does. I'm not satanic, but think about it. The Devil wants us to be his play things, so he is constantly keeping a closer eye on us then God. God, should he exist, wants us to find our own way into Heaven. He isn't going to hold our hand and walk us through the gate. The Devil however, is always looming over us. Throwing greed and hunger and poverty in our faces. We become desperate and do things we would never think to do. The Devil wants us to join him and it is easy to do so, God wants us to make our own decisions. And lastly, people say God created us in his image. Well, what about the transgender people? Did God create boys who really should have been girls and vice versa and just go whoops? I don't think so. But I don't really believe in either of them, so for me this is rather moot.
There are a few stories in the Bible that come to mind that I find are just completely ludicrous. First of all, the "virgin mary". That Jesus is the son of God. Well, I'm here to tell you I don't believe that's not true at all. Mary gave birth in Bethlehem. If I recall correct that's where she gave birth, but that's not where the child was conceived. But this was over 2000 years ago. Rape was not uncommon. And it was even more uncommon not to tell you were raped because of being ridiculed. So my firm belief is Mary was raped, and covered it up. Maybe Joseph actually was the father. Now there are images of Jesus, but has anyone ever seen God? Maybe Jesus is God. Going back to my last paragraph, this could be why Jesus won't ever be making a 2nd coming. He does not care for us because ultimately we have screwed ourselves as a planet. But the next story is of Adam and Eve. This cannot possibly be believed can it? Here's where I get lost. Adam and Eve are supposedly the 1st two people on the planet. That's why people will tell you sometimes that we are all related. They have 2 children, Cain and Abel. Cain kills Abel and is banished. That's a total of 3 people that should be on this planet. But somehow Cain finds a village of people who just came out of nowhere? Nuh-uh. Plus evolution has proven this is nothing but a story.
Religion should be nothing to us. There was another story about a lesbian girl where a pastor and camp counselors put fear into her for being a lesbian and were forcing her to be straight. Ultimately, she says her life is worse now because of that. Religion wasn't meant to put fear into us. It was meant to give us a set of guidelines to follow so we can reach our own peace and be better off in life. Religion should not a governing factor in our lives, it should only be a way of setting our morals and values. Do not force your religion upon anyone. Do you know it states in the Constitution that religion shall not have any say in our laws? We are not a country built on religion, we are a country built on independence. So if you're against Gay marriage (I'm assuming most of my readers aren't) that's fine, but if you are against it because it goes against the Bible. Well guess what, the Bible has no jurisdiction in this country.
So now here's what I believe. I say I'm agnostic, but really I just have my own personal religion. Atheism, by the way, means not believing in anything. It's really an ignorant 'religion'. So I believe in Destiny. We are all on a path to reach our end goal. What happens happens for a reason. Yes this includes tragedies and murders and all that. They happen for a reason. Don't question the reason, just know it has one. We cannot stray from our paths, because they are right there in front of us. The path is a straight line. Everything has already been pre-planned. There's no changing our fates. If I die tomorrow, I'll know it was because it was meant to be. Sure, sometimes I like to believe there is a God, but ultimately he never listens. And whatever happened to the ancient Greek Gods like Zeus? Let's go back to them! lol. That's what I believe. Religion is just something for people to grab onto. It should NOT define you!
So lastly, I apologize if I offended anyone, but this is something I've wanted to get off my chest for a long time. I don't mean to step on anyone's beliefs, but that's really what religion does. It steps on you. Holds you down and puts fear into you. Remember all this, and do not judge others. I don't judge people who believe in the Christian faith, but I will fight you if you try and force it down my throat. Religion is a fine thing to value, but don't let it control you. I really don't want to rant anymore, so I'm done lol. Thanks everyone for reading this!
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