Therapy 7 and School

Hii Everybody! First off, my apologies for not updating in a while. Not really much to share over here. But, Wednesday I did have therapy. Will share a pic of how I dressed for it :) Last time though I started off with therapy and then had to do it in another post so let's start off with it today and see if I can get in some other things!

Okay, well first of all, yes I did go dressed up again to therapy even though my family was home this time. Bit of a risk since I had makeup on, but went about it just fine. I did purchase my first bottle of foundation then night before among other things :) So I don't have to use my mom's anymore. Anyway, the basic discussion we had that night was really about me needing to be more open and honest with others. Needing to express myself and vocalize my feelings. That's tough for me, because I've never really done that before. So I'm still kinda working on that. But that was a big part of our discussion that night. We also talked about ways for me to open up and tell my aunt and cousin that I'm transitioning. I haven't met with my other cousin since the night we went bar-hopping, but have chatted with her here and there on Facebook. Anyways, that was actually a large part of the discussion. The last part we talked about was my letter of recommendation for hormones. She has never written one before so she wants to do some research and know kind of what to really put in it so that I can begin HRT and really take a HUGE step forward into transitioning! She is pregnant however, and is due at the end of the month. Congratulations! (In case she stumbles upon this someday lol) She's taking the month of October off, so I won't see her again until early November. Kind of disappointing cause I have to wait an extra month to get my letter, but at the same time, it allows me to save some money. So far I've pretty much been paying for therapy by mowing our lawn. Well, can only mow the lawn for so long. Eventually I'll need new ways of earning some cash to pay for hormones and therapy. Hopefully, hormones don't cost too much, but if they do (And I will ask beforehand) I will put it off until I have a job or after college. But yay! Finally going to get my letter and that, to me, is validation that I am ready :)

One thing I didn't mention in therapy, probably should have just because it was interesting, was that about last week I had two very specific dreams about being caught. One by my mom, the other by this girl who I sort of grew attached to in high school. She was a year older than I. But in my dream with my mom, I was in her stuff and found a nightgown and a robe, so I put them on and she saw me standing there in them. I told her everything and she was very supportive. It made me feel like maybe everything won't be so bad when I do come out to her. And in my other dream, I was talking with a friend in the garage and she was with us but wanted to use the bathroom. I had noticed she was gone for a while, so I went in to check on her. Nervous that she was going in my room. I had found her in my room and just about everything was out in the open. She saw all my clothes, and sort of dragged it out of me. I told her, and she was happy and wanted to help me. So she actually helped me get made up and dressed and we went out to a bar together. Woke up after that unfortunately, but was a very fun dream :)

Lastly here, I am back in school :( 6 classes this semester which is a LOT. But managing so far. Psychology seems to be my most fun class. Pretty much just watch videos and answer questions. 5 of my classes are online so that makes things a lot easier on me. And I can still dress up and be myself at home. My speech class is the one class I have to attend regularly, and so far it isn't bad. The teacher's an old pervert who picks mainly on the women. Glad I don't look like one enough yet lol. 3 of my other classes are fairly simple and straightforward, but my International Finance class is looking impossible. The teacher is terrible and doesn't explain things at all. But yet, we are supposed to do a simulation type game and keep our company afloat. Fuck that! Wish I could drop, but it's required for my degree. Isn't that stupid? I have no interest in international business, yet I have to take this class to graduate!

Let me tell you all something right now, for my somewhat younger readers, college is a waste! If you have a scholarship or a field that actually requires a degree, then it's worthwhile. But people, a business degree is meaningless. It does absolutely nothing except get your foot in the door! It guarantees you nothing! If I was a freshmen or maybe sophomore, I'd drop Business and would have taken Psychology. That's a field I have grown more and more interested in. But you absolutely do NOT need a business degree for anything! People can manage and run and create their own businesses without a degree. Ugh, absolutely worthless. Wait I'm sorry, it's not worthless, it's worse than worthless because it drowns you in debt and then you're pretty much stuck working a job you could've gotten without a degree to pay it back. So, for my younger readers, AVOID BUSINESS DEGREES! Sure, take a few classes as electives, but not as a major!

That's my little rant for this post lol. I'm all done for today. Today is the 35th annual Popcorn Fest here in Valparaiso, so I am looking forward to that! I may write another post this week as there is someone I would like to talk about that my therapist connected me with. Also my birthday is the 14th, so may throw in something about that too! Or maybe I'll write after and share what I did :) Until next time! Enjoy and have fun! Love to all!

PS. Almost forgot my pic! Here it is!
PPS.This was my 4th pic with the flash on, so I was a bit blind lol That's why I'm making that face.